life as poems 'n letters

The plane hummed softly beneath her, a steady vibration filling the quiet spaces between her thoughts. The world below the window seemed to go on forever—patches of land, endless oceans, and clouds floating like specters over a place she had no intention of leaving.

Two days ago, she made the reservation for this flight.

She had a completely different future in front of her three days ago. She had simple plans. She don’t expect perfection, or grand romantic ideals.

But there were things she couldn’t ignore, couldn’t accept.

Boundaries she wouldn’t cross.

Lies she couldn’t swallow.

She found out something—no, not found, because finding suggests that she had been looking. However, she wasn’t. Like a sudden storm tearing through a calm afternoon, it just showed up without warning. Everything she had imagined, the life she was sure of, the future she had imagined, suddenly changed under her feet.

She didn’t wait for the burden to subside or give herself time to process it. She simply bought a ticket, packed her bags, and boarded a plane to somewhere other than here.

She exhaled and pressed her forehead against the cool glass at 38,000 feet above the ground. For her, airports and flights had always been like new beginnings, full of possibilities and excitement.

She only felt the weight of an ending today, though.

She couldn’t decide whether the uncertainty of what lay ahead or the loss of what was hurt more.

Because before, she had direction. She was sure. She was moving steadily and confidently along a path. She was floating now, though. Not anchored. Moving away from something instead of toward it.

To prevent herself from disintegrating in the gap between where she was and where she was heading, she put her arms around herself. It was as though she was holding the pieces together.

She considered going back for a moment.

The plane then started to descend, dipping a little. Beneath her, the city lights blinked, extending like constellations—bright, boundless, vibrant. And she came to a realization.

She might no longer have the future she had envisioned.

She was still here, though.

The truth had not killed her. She had made it through the departure. Perhaps that was sufficient.

As they approached, the captain’s voice crackled over the speaker. She sat up straight, inhaled deeply, and opened her eyes.

She had spent too much time staring down.

It was time to look ahead.